WHAT IS THIS GIANT BLINDING ORB?? I’ve been awake since 4:45am (body: “Three hours of sleep?? Yup, that’ll do!”) When I left the house this morning it was still dark. Once the sun came up, I immediately wanted to crawl back into bed. It’s the way of my pale people.

I woke courtesy of yet another vivid dream. This time Sassypants was on the verge of breaking a world record for ‘person to climb highest on a fire truck ladder.’ Her foot kept coming out of her sock and I was afraid she was gonna fall so I started climbing up after her. Then I woke up thinking it was some sort of literal COME TO JESUS moment and had to get out of bed to reassure myself she wasn’t suffocating to death on her Ensure or something. I’m glad I didn’t follow her to the end of that ladder. I’m not ready to go into the light just yet.

And she’s fine. She says, “hey!”